How I responded to 'The Loneliest Girl in the World' - in play format
SCENE ONE – INT. MY HALLWAY
Me: Ooohhhh yay my package!!
*Tara rips open the package with the rage of a thousand, starving mountain lions – pulls out two books*
-after 2min excited cathartic yelling-
Me: Okay let’s have a look at these books
Me: Hey this is a cute cover! Tara like shiny…
*reads blurb & like first chapter & flips through a lil*
FOR CONTEXT – THE BLURB:
Can you fall in love with someone you’ve never met, never even spoken to – someone who is light years away?
Romy Silvers is the only surviving crew-member of a spaceship travelling to a new planet, on a mission to establish a second home for humanity amongst the stars. Alone in space, she is the loneliest girl in the universe until she hears about a new ship which has launched from Earth – with a single passenger on board. A boy called J.
Their only communication with each other is via email – and due to the distance between them, their messages take months to transmit across space. And yet Romy finds herself falling in love.
But what does Romy really know about J? And what do the mysterious messages which have started arriving from Earth really mean?
Sometimes, there’s something worse than being alone . . .
Me: hmm okay… not really my genre but I’ll try it. Looks like it’s gonna be a cute outer space romance – yay! Interesting names – is the Loch & Ness thing supposed to be something about the Loch Ness monster??. Oh hey look we’re gonna have some cute (possibly annoying) fake novice fanfic… that should be interesting…
SCENE 2 – INT. TARA’S SCHOOL’S THEATRE FOYER – DURING A MUSICAL PERFORMANCE IN WHICH I AM STAGE CREW
*TARA appears on stage, obviously bored, a thought appears in her mind*
*grabs The Loneliest Girl in the World – walks behind some large boxes and curls up on the floor*
Me: hehehhee… they’ll never know
*reading, reading, reading*
Me: Oh look at this! This is some realistic novice level fanfiction. Like it’s not good- but damn. She can actively choose to write with different levels of expertise. That is some advanced – meta writing stuff there.
This is cute! I’m kinda worried about what happened to her mum & dad – sounds like a bunch of evil astronauts/aliens murdered them – odd. I love that she has a fictional favourite TV show! – some real character depth there.
Me: Oh **** I have a migraine
*break of 2mins for panadol*
Me: Space therapist – I want a space therapist – also I’m really tense because this astronauts thing is kinda stressing me out. Also – that thing with the tooth is really … ughh.
First of all: I want a magical no pain orthodontics/dentistry machine. Second of all: Ewww nooo why did she have to rip out her own tooth with pliers jeez. – But hey, she found a good way to show teenagers how extremely she did not want to go in the medical bay. Like what, at least 60% of teenagers have braces/teeth issues and we know!! How much it hurts.
Also – this sci-fi is super realistic. Like most of the tech she’s describing doesn’t seem unattainable for around 2070, unlike so many other sci-fi books where you can now teleport throughout the world and death no longer exists. – and not just the tech – this is basically exactly how I would react given Romy’s life.
The stuff happening on Earth seems kinda dodge though – like – pretty unfounded & I don’t think that’s how it would go but I can see how it gives perspective on Romy’s life – she’s never been to Earth & doesn’t have those experiences.
*more reading – reads the page where Romy realises*
Me: Oh… OHH!!! HANG ON WOWW OMG!!
*at this point Tara literally yelps & someone finds my reading space on the floor – Tara moves to a corridor (it’s cold & drafty and slightly damp) to continue reading, mind whirling*
Me: wait hang on, so if the signals are coming from his ship, it doesn’t have to mean he’s faking the whole thing. It could be real – they could be on his ship & are coming to get her – he’s not alone like he says he is.
We’re nearing the end of the book now. the signs of tension in Tara’s body are evident. She is literally trembling – she doesn’t read scary stuff much at 9:30pm at night. Chaos evolves around her – we’ve lost a costume – and she continues to read uninterrupted. Her lips are bitten and bleeding, and her fingernails are down to their quicks. Her fitbit watch shows her pulse at a high usually only reached while exercising – 168bpm. Only a few pages remain.
Me: Holy ****. Holy ****. Ohhh ****.
*Tara throws the book onto the floor dramatically*
This turned into a horror/thriller from a sweet sci-fi romance -whatt?. Mind games. I will not be able to sleep tonight.
Also how rude – he ruined Loch & Ness & possibly fanfiction for her forever. Imagine living on a new planet – with NO FANFICTION. Dude is seriously twisted.
I recognise the parallel, though, between the astronauts chasing her at the start & the astronaut chasing her at the end. Twist after twist after twist. Oh god oh god oh god. *deep breath*
Okay I’m not surprised she has ptsd after her mum & those astronauts. Wow. Man. I mean, mad props to the author – that was the ride of my life – I love books where the realization hits you as it hits her – though there were clues all along – like it’s a twist! But not an unfounded twist.
So yeah. That’s how I reacted. A look into my mind, and I completely understand if this is unreadable garbage. It was just kinda word-vomit. Sorry about the awful grammar & cringey language – I don’t talk like an encyclopedia all the time…